Working life is not so easy.


It's weird.

When you are schooling, you always want to step into the working life. Thinking that you can handle everything yourself, and have your own freedom.. Really?

And, when you are a grown adult, and have stepped into the working life.. All you want now, is to go back to schooling, to enjoy the purest period back then.

People will never be satisfied with their life. They will never get enough of the things they want, in life.. Be it material, or non..

What about me? What do I really want in life?

Especially when I've already stepped into the working life, to compete against myself and the outside world.. It's definitely not easy to survive.


Work
3rd month in this new job. Yeah, I'd enjoyed myself, always anticipating to go to work the next day. Boss isn't giving us any pressure.  Yet, I've started to feel the stress, of performing well in work, to improve myself, and being competitive in the team. Feeling the impacts from clients and some colleagues, are not things that I can handle it well. I'm trying my hardest, and giving my best. I don't want to be so indecisive anymore. It ain't a good thing, to be changing job like changing my clothes. I would really like to stay here. Stressing myself out, don't help it at all. 

Relationship


'I don't need you to understand my thoughts.'

'At least, put yourself in my shoes..'


I'm trying my every best to keep this going. Beside working hours, I am trying to spend all of my free time with my boy, including sacrificing the time with my family. I hope, that he could put himself in my shoes, even if it's just a bit. He'll never know the feeling. He is a family guy, going home after work is a must for him. Most of the time, I will be spending time with his family, instead of mine. Going to my house seems to be a burden to him. I feel like the meat in the burger, getting struck between the two breads, not knowing how to get out of it?

Family
I want to apologize for spending minimum time at home. Mum & Dad can rarely see me.. I really feel bad for this. Dad is injured, and mum need so much of my help. Yet, I am spending time working and with my boyfriend. Did I make the wrong choice? 

Well, I just need some place to release all of these thoughts. 

I shall end this post, not knowing how to continue..