Why am I becoming like this?

I want to be the old me.

In the past..
I am more matured, compared to me now.
I am much stronger mentally, and won't get affected or influenced easily.

Ever since I've stepped into the working life, everything become different.
You came to know that working is never easy, so is reality.

The people around you, ain't what they are upfront.
Your so called "friends", might be the one stabbing on you behind your back.
You would have to build up a wall, blocking others into your circle.

No matter what, I know I tried..

I tried to be friendly.
I tried to help in whichever way I can.
I tried not to poke my nose into someone's else business.
I tried to do things out of goodwill.

Sometimes, things just don't go your way..
Or, is it just a test from god?

To make me stronger, and to let me know how cruel would reality be..

In school,
Everyone seems more friendlier.

At least, we don't have to put our guards up against our friends, the ones around us.

In work life,
Everyone would only do things to their own benefits.

It won't be any use helping people. They won't even appreciate it.
In the end, you will only get wounded, by them stabbing you on the back.

This company, I used to love being there, love working there..
As the company grows bigger, things changed, people changed.

I don't know the reason, I seems to become much weaker.
I used to be able to defend myself. I used to be more hard-hearted.
But, time don't rewinds. Things won't change.
I just have to accept the reality, and carry on with my life.

I am just ranting.

Just thinking..
Being in love, really makes me so much weaker.

I am too relying on you for everything.
I thought you would able to solve my problems for me.

Baby, I don't blame you for anything. It is just my problem, and my fault for becoming so weak.

I wish.. I wish..

To be stronger.
To be able to protect myself and my love ones.