I really miss you, miss being in love with you. Missing your care for me every single day.. For these three months without you, everyday is a torture to me. To think that I would even do all those stupid and crazy things to hurt you so deeply. I know you don't deserve all these from me. But I really want you back, I really do! 

Yet I know you won't be able to forgive me within such a short period of time. Like what I said previously, I will be waiting for you, be it weeks, months or years. Because you are the only one I want for my whole life. 

But I am really scared. What if one day you really belong to her? What if one day you really fall in love with her? I don't know how am I supposed to react to it? To do about it? 

Seeing you text her, going out with other girls, just make me feel super jealous and afraid. Whenever we meet up these days, you will always reply her so fast. It makes me feel that she is so important to you in such a short period of time. I know she is way better than me. I know you deserve someone way better than me. She is so much prettier than me, better than me, so guai than me. And certainly will treat you very well. But I really can't.. And really don't want you guys to be together. 

I know you might think that all I am saying now, are all rubbish to you. You will question the same thing, why would I do all of  those things to you, if I really love you so much?! 

I am really sorry. Although sorry don't helps. I just hate myself for being so cheap, so stupid to hurt everyone around me, especially your love to me~ I know I am cheap and dirty in your eyes. What you did previously, and I question you, but you didn't reply. I know the answer.. I know I am dirty to you. 

I also know no matter what I do now, will not get your forgiveness. I know you are still angry, still in pain now. 

Time to time, when you ignore me, say those harsh words.. My tears always want to drop. But I hold it back. Because I know that you won't want to see me cry, and I already promise you. I tried my hardest to keep my promise to you, although I know it won't salvage anything right now. No matter how badly it hurts, I will try my best to control it.  

The worst, was when the first call in that morning from you, was because of her. I really can't take it anymore. It makes me realize, she is slowly filling up your heart. She is slowly replacing my place.

Nowadays, you always empathize that we are just friends, purely friends. Your attitude to me is hot and cold at times. 

Yet you can ask me for that thing. Yet you are willing to travel overseas with me. I don't know what to think. I am afraid to think so much now. Because I know.. The higher the hopes, the greater the fall.. 

But I really want you to know my real thoughts. I tried to be strong in front of everyone. But only in front of you, I am so vulnerable. Only because of you, everything seems to be nothing to me. You are my most important love in this world. 

I really still love you a lot, and I really need you back.  I will give you time, I will wait for you. I just hope that you would also able to give me one last chance. I know you gave me too many chances before. 

But I will wait, wait till the day that you will be willing to give me that chance again.